This Easter was a special one. Not only because we got to spend it was Aunt Bekah, but it was also Peter's 3rd birthday, and the day I would get up in front of my church and give my testimony. I was asked the week before if I would consider sharing about myself and about how my life is affected knowing that Christ is my Redeemer. That was the theme, "Jesus our Redeemer." I admit that when they first asked me to speak at the Sonrise service at 6:30am I thought, yeah right. But literally within 2 minutes my heart did a 180 and I realized that this was no accident. I needed to do this. I said yes and went upstairs and gave Andrew the good news that we would be waking up at 5am on Easter and it was my fault. He was excited for me actually, so there we had it. I spent the rest of the week just pondering over my past and thinking so much more about life, mine in particular and about how God had blessed every step of it. So here it is, for those of you who want to take the time to read the talk I gave here goes...
First of all I would like to thank Cathy for the phone call asking me to speak today. I had no idea what it would mean to me as I prepared for sharing with all of you. It has been a long time since I just had my mind filled with thoughts of how Christ is my redeemer and ways that applies to my past, present and future.
I was born and raised in Anchorage Alaska in a Christian home. I am the oldest of 3 children, a younger brother and sister. I accepted Christ as my savior when I was 5 in Sunday School and through life continued attending church. As a child I never had a problem defending or trusting Jesus. There was an incident once where a boy said that Jesus had not come back and didn’t die on a cross. I informed him that if he and his family believed that they would go to hell. He, his sister and a few friends chased me to my doorstep where upon slamming the door behind me completely out of breath my mom became concerned. I told her what happened, she went outside and diffused the situation and returned to tell me that I should probably show God’s love to people I don’t know and not start straight off telling them they’re going to hell. I was not ever invited back to their house. Lesson learned.
Through my school years I was the “church girl.” Not a label I took lightly by the time I got to high school. I spent my summers working at a Bible Camp and was involved in my youth group as well as volunteering with Youth For Christ in Anchorage. Life at that point was not without struggles. I had just a few close Christian friends and lots of extended family issues ranging from alcoholism, cancer, and death. I attended the funeral of a classmate who was accidentally shot at a party and it was then it hit me again how short life is and how important it is to share Christ. I received a small scholarship to a Christian college in Oregon and went there right after high school. It was there, I was immediately immersed in Bible classes, chapel 3 times a week, I was in choir and on praise and worship team and I was a resident assistant in my dorm the last 2 years. I just felt all around strong in my walk with the Lord. I was riding on a spiritual high for some of the best years of my life. I spent Spring Breaks in Mexico building houses for poor families and 2 different summers I spent weeks in India with Youth For Christ traveling and sharing about Christ. All of those experiences helped open my eyes to see the needs of others and planted the desire to share God’s love with the world. I met Andrew in college and after 4 yrs of friendship and 10 weeks of dating, we were engaged, graduated, and married 7 months later. We packed up and moved to Southern California 9 days after our wedding for his Medical School. It was for the next 6 months or so that I hit a point where I realized my life was no longer under the protection of my parents, directed by my teachers and leaders, and I did not live in the bubble that was my college anymore. As a new wife, I felt a big responsibility and wanted to be supportive. I had come to a low point where I felt anything but that. We finally got plugged into a church and I started going to women’s bible study. We also were part of a couple’s bible study and all of those were steps in the right direction. I finally had to embrace the phrase “bloom where you are planted” because we weren’t going anywhere for 4 years and I certainly could not stay in a slump like I had been. Finding a job there we were was not easy, but I ended up working for Childhelp USA at a residential treatment center for children classified as Severely Emotionally Disturbed. It broke my heart and God really used those months to help me quit focusing on myself and reach out in a way I didn’t think I could at that point. I prayed with the children and read bible stories when I could. I still pray for and think about them.
Later that year while my sister was in South Africa doing missions, I went to see and participate in the outreach activities with her. We visited recovering children in the hospital, helped at an orphanage, taught at a village school, and spent more time at a different orphanage for older children teaching life skills. It was there again I was reminded that my life is so blessed and I had no reason whatsoever to complain about anything. Be it the heat, the distance from family, or anything else. Teaching others about how much God loves them, how he wants to help and have their trust, to provide and heal, and most importantly that he is their redeemer really gave me perceptive and helped better prepare me for what was to come directly after that trip. I say “better” prepare, but nothing can really prepare you for parenthood. What I thought was terrible ongoing jetlag was really what would change our lives forever 9 months later. After my daughter was born I gained a whole new perspective on who I was in God’s eyes. I am a child of God. I was paid for at a price. I would die for my children, Christ died for me. I am the one they depended on and Christ is who I need to depend on. They look to me for guidance, I need to look to God for guidance. Teaching a child to be sorry for their wrongdoings and ask for forgiveness made me really think on how Christ forgave and continues to forgive me everyday for my sins. We have three children, Ella 4, Peter, 3 today, and John 18 months. They are God’s miracles given to our family and I really believe that as much as we are supposed to show them the way of the Lord, they teach us even more every day about how much we need God. Just this week our Mom-email from MOPS sent a very fitting article that I will share with you. It’s by Tally Flint, the mom-email coordinator. She asks
Do you ever look around at your life, and wonder what God was thinking when he gave it to you? I do. I love my large, boisterous family. But I so often feel inadequate to the task of mothering my brood. With all my faults and foibles, how did I possibly deserve the gift of raising four beautiful children? The answer: I didn’t. I don’t. My life is not a reward for my performance, but instead a grace-filled outpouring of God’s love for me.
One of my favorite books provides a passionate description of how God's message of grace and love was designed especially for the ragamuffins – the dusty, broken, screw-ups who shuffle along on the road to grace. At Easter, we celebrate God’s ultimate gift of grace: sending his son to redeem a hurt and fractured world. No life is too far gone for God’s restoration. In fact, it’s in the messiest of situations when God often does his best work.
I’m beginning to think God gave me the challenge of raising my children, in part, so that each stumble would land me in his loving embrace. Ragged little me, beautifully redeemed.
I just loved how she expressed that. Every day I feel sorry in some way that I did not show Gods love in the ways I should, but his Grace is sufficient for me and for everyone. When I did a little research on the definition of redeem the dictionary says it is to recover, exchange, to make up for, obtain restoration of, to deliver from, regain possession of…all of these things require an exchange. That was Jesus Christ. He is the reason I have hope, I am recovered, delivered, and I am His. He will never leave or forsake me. He is my redeemer.
